


what sarah said

by thewordweaver



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Gun Violence, M/M, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-19
Updated: 2016-10-19
Packaged: 2018-08-23 11:40:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8326540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewordweaver/pseuds/thewordweaver
Summary: But I'm thinking of what Sarah said; that love is watching someone die.





	

**Author's Note:**

> hiya hello just reposting things that I had deleted from my old old very old asianfanfics account lmao  
> I am very much not really in the kpop scene anymore so these are just here for the sake of being here
> 
> date originally posted on aff.com: early 2014

## so who's gonna watch you die?

 

The red that stains his hands serve as a constant reminder of what had occurred just moments ago. With how successively the events unfolded, Lu Han's memory of how he had ended up in the hospital in the first place seem almost dream-like; there is not a minute that ticks by in which he does not question whether this is all truly happening.  
  
**The LCD just a few rooms down emits beeps that begin to grow too few and far between.**  
**"We need to operate now! We're losing him!"**  
  
He closes his eyes for a moment, unsuccessful in his attempts to regain his thoughts (everything is such a silent but screaming blur), ultimately staring down at his shoes and indirectly mapping out the basic tile pattern laid out all over the floor of the ICU. He allows himself a few deep breaths as his eyes fall closed once more, mumbling complains to himself as he wrinkles his nose about the mix of human accidents and sterile chemicals. "I thought I'd suffered quite enough for one day by now..." he murmurs, head hanging low as he runs a hand through his hair.  
  
**"But sir, his medical records indicate that he has a blood coagul--"**  
**"I know what his records say! But we don't have any other choice!"**  
**Yixing slips in and out of consciousness, and it becomes apparent to him that he will not be able to make good use of what little time he has left. ' _I'm sorry, Lu Han. The last thing I would ever want to do to you and the last thing I'll ever be able to do for you is let you down._ '**  
  
Now attentive to the low hum of the vending machine that lingers in one corner of the waiting room, he reopens his eyes, glancing at the coffee table resting in front of him. He picks up a magazine, finding the issue number and the month of publication on the upper right corner _. January 2012_ , it reads; the articles inside are over a year old. He sighs tiredly, tossing the magazine back into the pile, not even bothering to flip through its pages.  
  
**'** _ **I saved him, right. Pushed him out of the way? All I can really remember is the sound of that gun going off... and screaming... whose voice was that? Lu Han? Was he hurt? ... No. No, those weren't screams of pain... he was panicking. Please don't worry about me, Lu Han. I'm so sorry. Sincerely, truly, deeply. But I had to save you.**_ **'**  
  
The phrase "it is better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all" comes to mind, and the only thing Lu Han can think about is how he must reluctantly accept this truth. ' _But is it really necessary to lose him at all? Stay. Please stay with me a little longer, Yixing._

' _I didn't even get to say goodbye._ '  
  
**' _This is really it, isn't it? I can't even tell you goodbye before I go._**  
**'** _ **I'm sorry. I'm sorry, and I'm so sorry, and I know you can't hear me, and I know that no amount of apologizing will ever make up for this, but it's all I can do now. And I'm probably asking too much of you, especially after what I've done, but please forgive me. Please stay strong. If not for yourself, then for me, as my last request.**_ **'**  
  
He looks up, staring all around the waiting room. In a place where misery needs company, there is no shortage of like-minded people there. A few stand, refusing their seats and deciding to pace back and forth around the room instead. Along with the standard cushioned chairs and tables littered with (outdated) magazines, a TV sits mounted on the wall opposite to where Lu Han sits; a news program runs, but none of the visitors pay any mind to it.

But once the double doors open, every head in the room lifts, anxious hearts waiting with nervous patience as they brace themselves for the damaging words they may soon hear.

After all, nurses have a reputation of being the bearer of bad news.  
  
**' _Everything's gonna be alright, Lu Han. I promise._ '**  
  
"Lu Han?" the nurse asks aloud as she ventures farther into the room. With clenched jaw, he stands up, approaching the woman with glistening eyes.

"My regrets and condolences, Lu Han." Already the tears stream down his face; he tunes the nurse out, as she is merely reiterating information he already knows. "I am sorry to tell you this, sir, but Zhang Yixing... he's..."  
  
**' _Everything will be okay._ '**  
  
"Gone."

**Author's Note:**

>  
> 
> [personal twitter](http://www.twitter.com/lesimperatrices)  
> 


End file.
